Initiation is Just the Beginning

I was recently asked about initiations as they pertain to shamanic healers. There is a lot of talk in some areas about “What was your initiation like?” “How were you initiated?” “He isn’t a real ______ (fill in the blank) because he didn’t undergo the correct or a real initiation.” This has got me to thinking about my own initiations both as a healer and in my Pagan religious practice.

I have been through many initiations, some planned some not planned. So expected, many not expected.

When we think of initiations as healers, I think we can be blinded and expect that these initiations will be like those we have experienced as a rite of passage through school. Stand in a line, wait for your name to be called, and collect your diploma from the guy on the stage.

We think we can plan, and anticipate. I will have my initiation on this date, at this time, and it will last for 30 minutes. And afterwards I will be all changed.

But… But initiations aren’t like that.

Initiations can’t be planned or prepared for. They’re not happy times come and poof! you’re a shaman, or a healer. These kinds of initiations are messy, and they can last weeks or months. Initiation is a birthing process, and birth can be painful and slimy and yucky. It can also be very rewarding, but you have to get through the messy bits first.

Initiations are wailing and crying so hard you have snot coming out of your eyes and blood coming from your nose.

Initiations are losing everything that made you who you are in life. Your home, your job, your family, your sanity. Being left broken and alone, and not knowing if you will be able to survive the next hour let alone the next day, or week, or year.

Initiations are trying to pick up the broken pieces of yourself, and being told – No.

Initiations are having to leave behind eveything that you thought was you, and allowing your self to be rebuilt.

Initiations are letting go of the need to control, the need to know exactly what will happen and when.

Initiations are stepping off the edge of a figurative precipice and trusting Spirit to catch you. Even when you don’t fully trust yourself.

Many view initiation as being the end of a journey. The culmination of hours, days, weeks, years of study. My own experience has been that initiation marks the end of one stage of being, and the beginning of another.

When you are at the beginning of any stage of being, it doesn’t matter what wisdom you bring with you or previous life experience, you are a beginner. When I say – I am initatied in this practice I do not say it to indicate that I have mastered it, I say it to indicate I am a student, I am learning, I am experiencing. I am becoming.

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Creating Possibilities

After a lot of work and searching and learning I have begun that next level of healing work I am meant to be doing. And I am really excited about it.

Most of you, my readers, know how tumultuous my life has been over the past 3 years. It has been a time of incredible change, incredible loss, and even more incredible growth as I have rediscovered who I am and my place and purpose in this world.

The time has come to start giving back in some way. It’s time to create my own possibilities, and in doing do serve other women who are creating their own possibilities.

sacred visionsSacred Visions has been created for just this purpose, to serve women who are wanting to create their own possibilities.

I am chosing to work with women because I have come to see just how necessary this work is for women today. It may be that in future I find there is need to open up this work for men as well, Righ now though, at this time, I see a great need for healing of women, by women, and with women. I am one of many who is taking up this mantle and heeding this call.

I am pulling together a lifetime of learning and experiences:

  • Training as an Energy Healer in Reiki;
  • My studies of Martha Rogers’ Science of Unitary Human Beings;
  • Training in shamanic healing methods;
  • Personal training in intuitive healing;
  • Studies in Soul Midwifery;
  • Practice in oracle readings through the Amulets of the Goddess;
  • Personal experience persevering through major life trauma and loss;
  • Training and experience as a critical care nurse;
  • Experience as a mother raising 3 wonderful sons;
  • Experiences and training from my Spiritual Guides and Teachers;
  • Experiences as a woman who has gone through loss and dealt with physical, emotional, and spiritual pain.
  • Experience in creating ritual and sacred space for healing

And through these experiences and this training I am able to offer my services in these areas:

  • Reiki Healing
  • Shamanic Healing
  • Oracle Guidance
  • Gratitude Ceremonies of Blessing and Release

Each of these services is offered individually, or can be combined in the Possibilities Program which is available at this time to women living in SE London/London Borough of Bromley. Within this indepth program over 5 – 7 sessions, I guide women in identifying where they are blocked from making conscious choices, how those blocks once served them, and together we will create ceremony to release those blocks in gratitude for the service they provided. From here women will be able to create new possibilities for themselves, from a place of strength instead of fear.

Future plans

It seems strange to be talking about future plans when I am only just now bringing Sacred Visions into being, but also appropriate to say this is my vision for this work.

  • Ability to offer the Sacred Visions Possibilities Program to women around the world, without compromising on any aspect of it;
  • Women’s circles where small groups of women can come together for fellowship and healing;
  • Finding other women who want to bring Sacred Visions Possibilitiy Programs to the women where they live;
  • Expanding Sacred Visions to provide a service of transition and healing for those who are dying (as I compelte my training as a Soul Midwife).

Win a free intuitive healing or oracle reading

As a special introduction, I would like to offer my readers the opportunity to receive a complimentary oracle reading or Intuitive Energy Healing.

Mke a comment here, and/or follow Sacred Visions for Women on Facebook and let me know you are interested in receiving an oracle reading or intuitive healing.

Next Tuesday, 13 October, I will randomly select one woman to receive intuitive healing and one women to receive an oracle reading. I will then contact those women privately to arrange a date and time and to get further details.

Now tell me, what possibilities are you creating for yourself today?

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Reflections of Power

Warrior Goddess Training, Section 1

I’ve spent quite a bit of time considering this section in the first chapter of Warrior Goddess Training. This included taking time to do the 10 day Warrior Goddess Bootcamp which was offered through the web site free of charge for those who pre-ordered the workbook. And also time to consider women I admire, and why I admire them.

When I began this journey of discovering who I am 2 years ago, I started with a blank slate. All of my life who I am has been determined by who I am with. Their likes became my likes, their dislikes because my dislikes. Who I am was determined by who they are.

But now, in my life, there is no one else. There’s just me. I’ve been trying things – do I really like this TV show? Do I really like that vegetable? Do I want to dye my hair? Do I want to wear make up? Sometimes, the answer has been yes, but many times I’ve realised the answer is no.

The end of this chapter asked some rather telling questions. These were my answers.

Do you find your self-worth in how you look?

Not in a positive way. I have used my looks as an excuse to devalue my worth. So, in a backwards way that is defining my self-worth by how I look.

There are dozens of messages that have gone through me head over most of my life. Some I told myself first, others were said to me and incorporated into the tapes that played in my head.

You would be pretty if not for….

This is a picture of Nancy when she was pretty. (said by a family member)

I’m fat. I’m too short. Don’t smile. Your words aren’t worth hearing. So many flowing through me, many of which I wasn’t really aware of until I began listing them out.

To counter this, I am paying attention to what meets my needs in the way I dress and in my appearance. What do I want. Some times that agrees with what society says, many times I have found that it does not.

Do you base you value on how well you are taking care of everyone else at the expense of yourself?

This can be a real danger spot for me because I am a healer and I am empathic, and my first urge is to provide healing to others and to remove their pain, whether physical or emotional.

Growth for me has been taking a step back when the urge to heal someone comes over me. Does this urge come from my own intuition or from a desire to get the other person’s approval? Has the other person asked for healing?

Recently, this idea was tested for me in two ways. In the space of 12 hours I was contacted by 2 different people. The first was a request for training in Reiki. The second was a request for an Amulet of the Goddess reading. The difference between the two requests was that the second request came with an unspoken (or unwritten) implication that I should do this free of charge because we knew each other through a social networking group.

Once upon a time, I would have emmed and ahhed and either sent a message back listing my prices, but taking time to justify the reasons why I should be paid, and feeling guilty over asking for money. Or, I would have done the reading but felt resentful at having to do it for no money when this is one of the ways in which I provide for my family.

This time though, I did neither. After giving myself 24 hours to consider the request. I sent a message back letting him know that the Amulets may not be the most appropriate means of finding answers for his questions, linking him to the part of my Pagan Witch blog that lists the various prices, and letting him know if he still wanted a reading this was what the various services would cost.

I’ve not heard back since.

Now, I do occasionally do readings at no charge. But only when the Amulets let me know that I need to do the reading for that person. And only when I know in my heart that the reading is coming from a pale of love, and not from feeling guilty for not doing it.

Does my strength come from how much money I have, how sexy I am or who I know?

I don’t have a lot of money, I don’t particularly care if I am sexy or not, and I certainly don’t know anyone who could boost my outward appearance of power.

But when I was married and before when I was in a relationship, I think that I did do this. Knowing that someone found me sexy helped me to feel powerful. I took my power from someone else’s thoughts and feelings towards me. And when those feelings were removed, my power base disappeared.

Female Role Models – Who are your role models?

What qualities and actions do they embody, such as presence, courage, passion, honesty, compassion, and clarity.
My great-great grandmother, Arminda Jane (Moore) Morton who travelled in a covered wagon from Illinois to the Nebraska Territory, while pregnant and gave birth in a wagon on the journey. Who raised a family through times of extreme poverty, living in houses made of dirt and sod. Qualities in her that I admire – faith, courage, perseverence

My ancestor who divorced and remarried 3 times in the 1800s. Qualities in her that I admire– courage, passion, going after what she wanted and discarding what she didn’t

Temple Grandin – a woman with autism who has become a spokesperson for people with autism around the world, and who is also a world renowned expert on improving the welfare of animals in slaughterhouses. Qualities in her that I admire – presence, courage, perseverance.

Laura Ingalls Wilder – the author and the fictional character. I grew up reading her stories, and as an adult find nothing but admiration for the struggles she dealt with while growing up and as an adult. Qualities in her that I admire – courage, perseverance, presence, fighting spirit.

Pippi Longstocking – the fictional character. She had adventures and was fearless, and she did lots of things because there was no one around to tell her they weren’t possible. Qualities in her that I admire – belief in herself, bravery, sense of adventure.

Esmerelda Weatherwax – fictional character. When I grow old, I want to be a witch just like Mistress Weatherwax. Qualities in her that I admire – her no nonsense approach to life, her common sense.

I’d like to finish this off with a message from the amulets that I received this week.

Labrys – Personal Power

Hold your power in your hands. You are a leader and many will follow you. Make sure you know where you are leading them to.

Hold your power.

Power is not anger. Power is not force. It is not coercion or manupulations. It is not held through fear.

Power is the core of who you are. It sits in your belly and fills you each day.

You have always had this power within you. Even as you denied it, ignored it, and stuffed it away in a corner of your mind. Still it was there for you.

You do not need to claim power, it is already a part of you.

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